Here I think and reflect on the work of counselling. Drop in often or only when you need to. This page is living.
The year of 2020 has been one of challenges and upheavals for people both local and afar. Here in Yanchep we ended 2019 with bush fires only to hear in January that other parts of our country were flooding. March saw the rise of the Covid19 pandemic throwing the daily lives of many into a spin. After every major event there is a questioning process. It usually takes the form of asking 'what went wrong' and 'how can we be better prepared for the future'?
There is one answer that satisfies both of these questions. Character. Life is unpredictable. We can equip ourselves with the best tools and understanding for possible disasters. Yet without a steady and clear mind, forward planning can easily fail. Society has no need of a panicky firefighter or a fearful doctor. The best forward planning we can have is to work daily on our own inner life. A stable and reliable character is the best asset in times of trail. It prevents us from behaving irrationally and it makes us more useful to others.
Remember the old airline safety brief. Fit your own mask first. Because if you can't breathe there is no way you will be able to help others. How are you taking care of your character?
We are an amazing species. Our unique minds have the ability not only to interact with and understand the world around us, they also have the ability to create worlds inside of us. These worlds grow almost without our knowing. Decisions and experiences add up slowly over time forming our personalities, creating our dreams and in many cases hiding them from us. Ancient processes like reflection, meditation and soul expression have been practiced for thousands of years by individuals seeking out the hidden parts of their worlds. Counselling and psychology are late comers to this ancient process of self exploration and bring our modern scientific knowledge into a harmony with many ancient practices. Still to this day the most vibrant and healing knowledge a person can have is of themselves. The ancients summed it up simply with the words; "know thyself".
Most of our worlds systems rely on some level of dishonesty or manipulation. Stars at the end of sales quotes* or small underwritten clauses are often bundled with the promises we interact with daily. The constant exposure to this type of deceit slowly creeps in and like a fish in water we become so desensitized that we too start using unseen sub-clauses in our words and actions. This is the most destructive type of deceit. If you are not upfront with our own life, who you are and what you believe you will find it difficult to locate and amend those aspects of your life that are crippling you. Being honest is one of that hardest daily challenges we all face. Yet without honesty personal improvement and healing is almost impossible.
There is an element of shock when you enter a body of cold water. Suddenly your nerves become aware that a change has taken place and the instinct to escape discomfort kicks in. But if your goal is to enter that water for exercise or some other form of recreation you have to master that instinct by calling forward the deeper power of the will. Self awareness is a lot like cold water. The first time you experience a splash of self awareness it is both refreshing and shocking. You may think at first that self discovery is a joyful and nourishing experience. However the longer you sit in the process the more your internal instinct to retreat to more comfortable surface places emerges. This is natural, there is safety in the familiar. But safety grows neither the imagination nor the soul. Go into the cold water, it's good for you.
The adjustments we make during one part of our life's journey won't always serve us well in another season. Insisting on wearing your summer gear in winter or vise versa will result not only in discomfort but in actual health risks.
Humanities resilient nature causes us to adapt our behaviours, mental and relational, to manage difficult situations. A bullied child learns to isolate themselves for safety. A betrayed partner learns to distrust relationship for the same reason. However when the season changes these behaviors can persist when they no longer apply.
Though circumstances have changed the bullied child struggles as an adult to make friends. The betrayed lover fails to start again because they have built a habit of protective mistrust.
Identifying and dissolving habits that no longer apply in your current season of life will bring freedom and possibility. Counselling is one tool that can help you achieve this task.
Life is remarkable. Have you ever noticed how grass will grow through cement? Life longs to expand, to find a place to thrive. Barriers exist, but they exist to shape the type of life that passes through them. Don't worry if the circumstances you face are hard and constricting. If grass can grow through cement you can grow through challenges you face.